Tell me when it’s over…

th-2

Well I have to say after spending some time today playing catch up on a dear friends blog it has inspired me as well as shamed me. I have been so lazy about my own. So I thought it was time for a yearly update.

As most of you know life as a way of taking everything you desire to do and achieve and tossing a monkey wrench right in the middle. I do believe this is the year of the “OH NO YOU DIDN’T”. Sigh.. really..

Yes this coming May it will have been two years… count them TWO beautiful years that I left Wal-Mart. No looking back.. I do however find myself spending more time there now then I ever did when I worked there! I know right! To back track a bit… my teenage daughter works there now as of all things a cashier! LOL She knows the pain I endured for 10 years there now. She will tell me I do not know how you did it and not hurt someone. Hahahahaha yes the struggle was real people!

This job as been good for her in some ways. Yes she likes the money.. and has been saving because she wanted to make a nice Christmas for everyone this year. (She really is a good kid). She has been tossed out there in the working world learning lessons we all need to be taught.. Life is not fair and that you can not control anyone’s actions other then your own. How you choose to react to rude and hateful people is the only choice you have. You have to abide by what your boss wants even if you know better.

thI think the biggest change… yes she is driving or shall I say was driving.. uggg what did I do wrong to be punished… No don’t answer that.. I kid you not.. she no more then had her license two days.. TWO DAYS when she almost took out the Sonic sign. She put a nice long dent and yellow streak right down the front of my beloved Doreen. I was crushed.. The pole is still standing although they often keep that stall closed so maybe she did do massive damage.. I did not act gracefully about the whole thing.. there have been tons of promises of “I’ll pay for it mom”. Still there.. sigh. She use to drive my Doreen back and forth to work.. I am okay with that.. I even let her take it to go visit friends and go out to eat. See I am a good mom!

Not two weeks later she and a girlfriend where going to a youth meeting at one of the local churches. I was fine with letting her take the hubs car. It had been raining like cats and dogs all day. Massive rain. While she was gone we decided to take a trip to Walmart of all places to pick up a few things we needed and passed said church. Guess what our Escalade was not there. We rode around the parking lot several times just to make sure we were not blind from old age… nope not there.. that little brat had fibbed to us and we were planning on busting her when she got home. I for saw a grounding in her future. All we could do was wait until she got home. I hate it when she calls me late at night I hate it..I know she has gotten into some sort of trouble.. my heart sinks.. the phone is ringing and she is in tears. Her father is trying to calm her down and not doing a very good job at it. She is stranded on some back country road.. she is in a ditch. She does not know where she is. I take a deep breath.. her getting lost is not a new thing here just saying.. So hubs and I take up trying to pin point there they could be. We only had very little clues as to where they were. It is still pouring down rain.. no street lights.. we sort of get close.. which is amazing if you think about it. When we get to the area.. we are met by two cop cars and another parent. My truck is not 4 wheel drive so I could go no further.. They were trying to find them out there in the middle of the night.. several hours later and frantic calls a local fireman found them and drove out to fetch them. Sigh our car was in a ditch. I am grateful she went the way she did. If she had gone the other way she would have ended up in a water filled riven. So yes in case you were wondering.. she and her friends were fine..and yes massive punishment was due. We may have went over board.. but dang it it was all too much.. she got 6 months.. to sit home and think about what she had done and why she even went down into a place she did not know in the pouring rain. (Side note. She ended up in Braums Dairy land. Their back fields on a path of dirt not meant for a huge vehicle.) We had to get the car towed the next day once we found it ourselves.. sigh

th-1

This six months was unbearable for her and us and she tried to wear us down each and every day.. but we held strong.. that is until life tosses us a monkey wrench…. My dear husband had not been feeling well and the stress from our dear daughters antics did not help. After weeks of a nagging cough and pain in his chest every time he coughed I made him go to see our dear friend Doctor Jim.

Jim took a chest x-ray and comes back to tel us he has Phenomena. Placed him on meds and sent him home. Two weeks later he was no better so we go back.. another x-ray and he comes in shaking his head. No worse yet no better wants to send him for a Chest scan.. Appointment made and we sit and wait. We know this is never a good thing.. we waited all weekend and part of the next week.. get called into his office. We have braced ourselves and someone who shall remain nameless took to looking things up on the internet (HUGE mistake by the way).

Once in his office he tells us the results are in and they believe it is Lymphoma. He wants to send us to the Oncologist to have him take a look at it.. appointment made.. we go to his office see and talk to him.. he looks at the scan and agrees with the other two Lymphoma just not sure what type.. he wants to go into the chest and get a biopsy. Appointment made.. we go in and meet with the doctor.. she is very nice set up the time and place to get this done. We show up when we were suppose too. I waited for it to be over and an hour later she come out to find me. She tells me that it is not Lymphoma.. but inoperable lung cancer that had spread.. WHAT!!!! WOW okay so now I’ve got to wrack my brain about what I need to do. I have a very sick spouse.. a child who has no idea what we have been dealing with for the last month or so.. and sick elderly in-laws who have been in the hospital themselves.. no life insurance.. me not working.. the stress was unreal.

We now had to decide how to tell the people we love what we were dealing with. Not an easy thing to do or hear.. We tried for a long while to keep it from his folks but they knew something was not right. My child was another story. We knew she was going to be scared and hurt and was going to need the new friends she was no longer able to visit or even talk to on the phone to help her deal with this. SO we caved and let her start hanging out with her friends. We honestly felt it was the right thing to do. We waited for our next appointment to see where we went from here.. a week passed.. the day before we were to go see his oncologist we get a call from the doctor who preformed the biopsy. She started out by saying “I wanted to be the first to call you as soon as I knew.. he does not have lung cancer.. he has Sarcoidosis” Then went on to explain it to me as a disease that causes your immune system to overreact, which can lead to health issues. It can cause lung damage, skin rashes, and eye disease and can affect other organs of the body.

Okay praise God.. now where do we go from here.. set up yet another appointment with her where she put him on 50mg of prednisone which is enough to choke a horse! In my husband it produces nasty after taste that he has all day everyday. He also has hot flashes.. it can be 30 out side and he is burning up. But hey he is cancer free praise the Lord. I will take that diagnoses every day all day. So a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders and I mean huge. It makes everyday more special and wonderful. I never want to take him for granted.

family-counselling-teenagers

Ummm yes about my daughter.. well now that she was off her punishment I do not think we could very well take it back and place her on it again right? LOL Well never fear knowing her as I do I knew it would only be a matter of hours before she did something to be placed back on the naughty list.. Truer words have never been spoken! Sigh. It did not take her long to be nasty and that teenage tude take over.. she was short and rude and just a big ole turkey butt.. After weeks of this we had had it.

She asked of she could take my Doreen about 24 miles away to go see her boyfriend. I was not crazy about the idea or him but I allowed it. Now she has never been one to put aside fun for common sense.. It had started to rain hard and I mean hard.. so instead of saying wow it is going to start raining hard I had better get back home before it gets dark and I can not see.. once more no lights on these country roads.. no she was having fun and chose to just stay until it was close to her deadline to get home… The dreaded phone call.. (see I told you no good can come from it.) She is crying..You seeing a trend here? Anyway she could not see where she was going because of the rain.. so she was going slow when someone came up behind her and side swiped Doreen. Kill me now! Bent the bumper busted out the taillight and went right up the side of my truck and smashed it in.. sigh . No the jerk did not stop he just took off.. she was scared as I think we would all be.. so instead of calling the police she turned around and headed back to her boyfriends house and called us. She re-fractured her clavicle and is missing a little work to heal but otherwise she is fine.. mostly.. okay somewhat!  Read on..

We did not use insurance because it was around 10K of damage and they wanted to claims it out. Yes they would send me a check but then I would in turn just have to give it to the bank to pay it off and then I’d have no money for another truck. Yes it is driveable.. mostly cosmetic. We still have to get the tail light fixed but then it is just gonna be done a little at a time. Sigh..

So are you shocked that with the nasty tude she has been spouting and the lack of common sense.. she is not allowed to drive our cars.. and she is on restriction once more. Not because of the wreck that was not her fault.. but she is so hateful and disrespectful.. How come no one told me it was gonna be so hard raising teens?

th-3

I personally think there should be some sort of government program that you enter once your child has turned 18 where you can relax and try to put back some sort of a normal life. Maybe new job training.. new location.. on a beach.. yeah that sounds so good.. Oh shoot hold on phones ringing… drats!

phone-ringing-gif-9iz7mkm4t

Posted in Daughter, driving teenager, family, Father, frustration, Husbands, life, making the best of it, teenage tude, trusting God | 3 Comments

Finding a place..

Have you ever had a light bulb moment?

church

What? I am sure you have.. I have had a few in my life time. Luckily they were just eye opening moments.. The husband joined a new church a while back and he has found a new home. He loves this church and the people in it. He had been after me for months to go give it a try.. I always had a million reasons not too.. I had been up all night working ,I was tired. Sick.. you name it I used it.

churchrunningDon’t want to say he had given up on ever getting me there cause he didn’t. However he learned a lesson early on in our marriage.. that I don’t like to be pushed into anything. The harder you push me the more I dig my heals in.. Just call me a big ole donkey butt cause I can be stubborn. In fact you keep pushing me I turn away.. I did that with church. He use to push me nonstop. I do mean nonstop and I did what I do best shut him down..

I was raised in the church.. from the day I was out of the hospital. I spent every Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday there. I was involved in every activity they threw at me. Baked cakes for the cake walks.. stayed up for the rock-a-tons.. camp every year.. I even taught Sunday School. Upon moving to Nashville to attend collage.. I was churchless and tried several that my friends went too. I always found something wrong with each one.

churchcakewalk

They were too big.. too noisy.. they were doing strange things I had never seen nor heard before and really freaked me out. I did find a church I loved with super people a great pastor (who looked like Vince Gill by the way.)vince I felt so welcomed and loved there. I looked forward to every meeting and special programs. It was with great sadness that I had to leave this church when I moved back home to help take care of my sick Grams. She Kept me pretty busy and my old church just did not feel like home anymore and I did not attend.

Then I met my hubs.. well we met in a Christian chat room. I fell in love with this wonderful strong man. It was soon apparent he was made for me and has been giving me fits ever sense. We have great fun together and something I am blessed by. During this time I remained churchless.. I knew what I knew and believed what I believed and that has never wavered ever. It was after we were married we really learned just how different we were in so many ways. He was shutter Baptist LOL and I was Non-denominational. There was a huge difference and we just could not come to an understanding.. He did not like my church choices nor I his. So we just did not go to church.

churchslider

Upon moving back to Oklahoma he started going to the church he was raised in and I was working overnights on the weekends (thus all my excuses) and once more just used it as another reason. He urged and dreamed I would attend his church and I never would. I am really shy by nature and do not enjoy huge crowds. I prefer smaller groups.. getting to know people on my own terms.

After years of of not being satisfied with his home church he ventured out to try a church a friend of ours recommended. I think he attended once and he said he felt like he was home. He weighed his decision and prayed on it. Then choose to to switch his membership. Then he starts on me.. come come meet the people.. you will love them.. it is a small church.. just like you like. He tried not to pressure me too much for fear of pushing me further away. I had come such a long way over the years and we were at a point that we could have great debates about the bible. Me of course always playing devil’s advocate, to the point at times of driving him insane.

church1When I chose to leave my job my excuses were no longer valid and he made sure to let me know that. I agreed to give this church a chance. He knew I was going and forewarned them I did not like to be crowded and to let me come into it on my own. Gratefully they did just that. To be honest my first day there I made him go in first just to make sure the roof did not fall in on me when I walked through the door. It was a tough roof I guess as it is still standing.

I must say I found them all charming and sweet. That was a huge plus in my book. Yes they were a small church.. another plus. The Pastor was soft spoken and did not yell.. another huge plus for me. I have slowly started coming around and look forward to seeing these people now. I still tend to keep to myself.. I guess in time that too will change. I am enjoying being back in church.. even if it is a Baptist church.. LOL I am just playing.. I have teased my hubs forever about Baptist so I could not resist. I may never be a scripture quoter and I may not be the one who asked tons of questions but I do pay attention. I listen and learn. I can promise you this tho.. that man has a hot line to God.. cause every Sunday and I mean every Sunday there is something in his sermons that he is directing just to me. Talk about stepping on ones toes..

churchtoes2

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

…And So It Begins…

Something has gone horribly wrong in my life.. sigh..

It use to tickle me to no end when my husband and I would go out and he was offered the Senior discount. I teased him unmerciful about it. He being the man he was did not care.. he was over joyed to be getting whatever cheaper.. Did I mention he is a money saver? A fact that has served us well over the years.

I remember when I was in my mid twenty’s I’d get stopped all the time and carded for everything. I would get asked if I was still Sixteen and get the kid prices.. Oh I loved that.. I can however say I never took advantage of that and fessed up to my real age.

Time has not been good to me apparently.. just twenty short years later my life as I know it is over… I was shopping at our local store picking up a few things. I made my way up to the cashier standing there.. she of course was a high school girl.. Yes I can tell , I’m not blind yet.. although everything else seems to be going…

She rang up my order and then handed me the senior discount page and asked me to sign. My mouth fell open and I looked at my dad. I did not touch it.. I mean if she had given it to my dad I would not have been offended… but to me!!! Me.. I looked at dad and said “This is not good. Do I really look 65! Where did it all go wrong?” Sigh…

Of course my husband has got tons of laughter out of it and wants to share with everyone.. Guess who is gonna take his card and start working on this ME.! We will see who is laughing then. Think maybe I can fool Social Security and get a check every month.. I mean I fooled a sixteen year old.. she has to be smarter then most in the government right..

In the end I guess he can  tease me if he wants too.. Because I can smile while knowing he will always be six years older then I am…..

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Should I Stay Or Should I Go….

I am not sure what to do right now and would like a little input from some of you..

I am at a crossroads in my life.. I have worked at my current job for 10 years. I started out loving my job.. and over the years have grown to not care for it so much. At times I still like it. I like most of the people I work with and most of my customers. However The stress the job puts on me and I put on myself is crazy.

People keep telling me to stop letting it get to me.. I can not do that.. I worry about that place even on my days off.. stress stress stress.. I work over night and we can not keep good help so I never know when or who is gonna show up and that stresses me out the most. Not having enough help and having to deal with unhappy customers also makes me stressed and unhappy. Having management not back you or try to help you is a huge stress er as well.

I can not even begin to tell you the tole this has taken on my health over the years.. but lets just say it is not good.. Until I started working here I was hardly ever sick and never had to have any kinds of surgery done.

I am contemplating quitting my job tonight.. I know I know that is why I want some advice.. Am I nuts.. to leave a job that for the most part is a pretty good paying job. A job that I will never be able to go somewhere else and make what I am making here. Also this job is not that hard not really.. but I am just not happy any more. I hate working over nights.. I hate working holidays.. I hate the stress…

To be honest with you if I quit we will not have to cut back that much. I only work 3 days a week anyway. Pretty much the money I bring in just allows us to buy stuff. Our house is paid for.. we are getting ready to put on a new roof but I am taking care of that.. so we should be ok. God has been so good to us I can tell you that.. that is also a plus to not working I’d be able to go to church again.

So give this ole girl some advice.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

It’s a man thing……

                                                                                        It’s a man thing..

How often I have thought that through the years.. I see the way men connect to things on a much deeper level then women.

                                                                Image

I have never seen a women treat a gun or fishing pole with as much respect as a man will. We’d just place it in it’s place and think of it as yet another thing that has to be dusted. Not men.. no.. they polish it clean it, buys special lures or cases for their prize items. Some even show them off and brag. Haa haa I have often thought what a sad world they must lead to put so much love and attention on silly things.

                                                                   Image

Cars and trucks OYE! They spend hours tinkering and cleaning, naming and babying them. I use to think if they put half as much time into their marriages there would be no divorce! I just never understood the appeal of it I guess… UNTIL…

Image

Until my beloved husband bought me my Doreen as a Valentines gift this year.. Talk about love at first sight! She is long and lean and one high class driving machine! First time I drove her I knew.. yes I knew what it was all about.. I connected with that huge hunk of metal and she was mine. She get’s the first parking spot in the drive way, she is treated like the queen she is. If bad weather is coming guess who get’s pulled in the garage first.. yep you got it Doreen!

As you know life is full of tricks, cruel and costly tricks.. Several weeks ago we were having bad weather and my husband chose to drive me to work.. which I love him to do by the way. Upon coming to fetch me in the morning he slid on a icy patch and my poor Doreen slammed into a telephone pole.

                                                       Image

Oh the pain! My poor girl was a mess! Yes my hubs was ok too.. I knew you would ask. But Doreen she was smashed up here and there… had to pry the bumper out of her tire just to get her off the road. I am grateful we had good insurance that understood that just because you have a cheaper quote does not mean they are the right one. They were wise and chose the person who had the best reputation. It cost more but you get what you pay for. So Three thousand dollars later she is back in my driveway and looking as awesome as she is.

I understand… yes.. I am feeling my manliness! As long as the facial hair is not a side effect..

 

Aside | Posted on by | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Forever Lost…

AHHHHH!! How in the world did we ever make it without smart phones and GPS’s! You know they are soooo dependable! NOT!

                                                                               Image

I just got a new phone and have been trying to learn how to use it! I have to say I am getting just too darn old to be trying to relearn stuff every few years! My new phone is equipped with a navigation app. It has failed me twice now and one would think I would know better! The first time we were trying to help take a friend somewhere, that we had never been.. epic fail! We did arrive to our destination but only because she sort of remembered how to get there!

                                                                                       Image

The next was due to my yearning to obtain some Deer and Buffalo Jerky. A friend told me where to find this precious item and I looked up the addy. I took advantage on a lunch outing to try and find this place that was suppose to be only 9 miles away and take about 20 minutes..

ImageWell haa haa my 9 miles turned into like 40.. It sent me to the stock yards on the other side of town, then directed me out to the airport.. and upon turning around.. it ended up sending me to some Government facility that I still have no clue what it was! I was getting a little flustered.. and to make it better my engine light came on.

So I am some where out in this great huge world lost just trying to get my jerky and now my engine light has come on threatening to leave me abandon on the side of the road.. You know the worst part about this is if my new truck dies out in the middle of no where I was gonna have to call my husband and admit I was lost!!! Oh the humiliation!!!

                                                            Image

By luck I happened upon a road that was named to be near the Jerky Emporium and I took it and road it out and low and behold there it was.. a little hole in the wall place that I would have never seen in general passing!

The nice lady at the jerky store tried to direct me on how to get back home, altho she had not traveled that way in years and years and really how much could things have changed in all that time right. LOL Oh yes.. I ended up making a huge circle coming in from a town 15 miles away from where I started.. After riding for what seemed like forever I started seeing familiar land marks and pretty soon I did know where I was and made it home.. to my relief.

This whole adventure would have been fine no one but my dad knew or needed to know right.. HA! My dad took great pleasure in ratting me out! My husband teased me unmerciful. Thanks DAD! Installing my TOM TOM as we speak!

All I know is this jerky better be the bomb diggity.Image

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Long journey to my dream job… NOT!

                                                 

 It is hard to believe someone out there wants to know about my recent promotion.. I could sum it up in like three words.. ha ha.. but what would be the point of that. No.. no.. no.. I am going to make this into and long drawn out adventure! So buckle up buttercup and enjoy the ride….

 

I must admit I spent the first six years of my marriage pampered.. I did not have to work and I enjoyed it immensely! I stayed at home raising my child doing as I please. However that soon ended when my husband got the homesick blues and his yearning was so strong to return to his beloved Oklahoma to be near his folks. So July of 2005 we packed up and headed west. Now I was leaving everything and place I knew and grew up with.

 

We arrived in Oklahoma on July 4th and into a trailer.. I have nothing against trailers.. it is just this is tornado ally and everyone knows tornadoes hit trailer parks first right!It did not help that they neglected to tell me I could not keep my dog once I was here.. that would have been a deal breaker for me. Hubs started looking for a job right away and after a few weeks got a job at our local Wal-mart. After about a month it was obvious I was going to have to get a job as well.. OH NOOOOOOO! I applied at our local Wal-mart as well and was soon hired to work over night in the pharmacy stocking.

                                                          Image

 

This begins my love hate relationship with Wal-mart. I enjoyed working in the pharmacy for the most part. The work was easy and I always finished early, which always got me in trouble! The Pharmacy owned me as they paid my salary not Wal-mart. So they wanted me in the pharmacy for 8 hours doing their stuff and my overnight manager wanted to move me around and use me else where. Seems every week I was getting talked to about it.. and the battle between the pharmacy and my mangers went on with me in the middle. After 8 months of this I had had enough and a nice assistant manager helped me move up front to be a cashier.

 

ImageI loved being a cashier. I loved my CSM’s (Customer Service Mangers) and I liked my fellow cashiers. They all trained me well and we worked as a team. Like a lot of jobs after time people move on to bigger and brighter things.. new people replace them.. some good some not so good. About a year into this my CSM asked about me becoming a backup CSM. All this means is that I fill in when a CSM is sick or on vacation.. more responsibility with no pay increase. I agreed to do this and have been doing it ever since.

 

About a year into it one of the CSM’s quit thus leaving an opening that I applied for. Needless to say I did not get the job. They said it was because I needed more training.. But the kicker was.. the lady they gave it too had never worked up front, had never ran a register, or knew nothing about being a CSM.. I was blindsided to say the least. They had the audacity to want me to train her! It was a extremely hard time for me there and I was so tempted to just walk away. My husband had a harder time, in fact if he had found my manger before I got him out of the store I probably would have been bailing him out of jail! It was then and there that I slowed down and I stopped giving them a hundred percent. I did my job and went home nothing more. I do have to add tho that this CSM has turned out to one of my very best friends ever!! So something good did come out of it!

                                                                       Image

It was a short time later when my other CSM decided to leave.. I was not even interviewed this time they just replaced her.. the new CSM stayed a few years then moved up in the company and was replaced by yet another lady. Still I was not even considered.. I just kept working and filling in when needed.

 

I made a lot of changes in my life, by cutting my hours at work. I went from five days a week to three. Best decision I have ever made. I started working weekends only and that is still what I am working. At times it gets stressful but at least it ends sooner or later.

 

Last year my BFF CSM was burned out on working overnights and wanted to take another job during the days. I so hated to see her leave. It broke my heart. With her gone I had to take her place and CSM full time.. I kept asking when are you going to get this position filled one way or the other. They were using me, yet not giving me the pay. This went on for months and months and they always seemed to have an excuse.. had to still do interviews, thought someone else had taken care of this, was deleted out of the system… pretty much just giving me the run around. Why should they care they were getting the job done for free.

 

It was about a month before Christmas when I confronted my assistant manager and told him flat out I was tired of being used and that he had until Christmas to get this situation taken care of, or I was changing my availability and not doing it any more. LOL His face just went ashen and I have to say that felt pretty good. It obviously worked because I was dreading having to go to work on my birthday… but I went to clock in and he was waiting to offer me the job along with the dollar raise! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!

 

I can tell you even after all these years I still have a lot to learn, but now at least I do not feel like they are using me. I am now being paid to babysit and be abused! LOL

                                                                 Image

You can wake up now!!! It’s your fault ya know, you are the one who wanted to know!!!!  

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments