Time for a reality check…

Did you know today is a brand new day with out any mistakes in it… yet? As long as I am sleeping I know all is good.. it is when my feet hit the floor that I have to worry! LOL

Some people trip over their own feet.. me I trip over my own thoughts. I know what? LOL but it is true. I tend to spit stuff out there with out even thinking about it. Then only later to regret it, because I tend to look foolish.. Something by now you’d think I’d be pretty comfortable with huh.

It’s not that the things I say are mean, just wrong.. I get things twisted.. or just not right at all. I can make myself feel like the worlds biggest dumb head ever. Also not a huge feat! Of course you have your friends to help you point out these bumbles in error. Ya’ll so kind! LOL Buuuuutttttt I have to say these same people are doing what I would want.. looking out for me, loving me, and teaching me. I have soooo much to learn.

I am here to tell you some things are not like riding a bike. They say you never forget. However I know for a fact that that is a false. I grew up in a nondenominational Church. In fact it was the Salvation Army. I was there every Sunday from the day I was born. I grew and became an active member of this church and these people were my friends and family. I went to all the meeting, thanks to my grandparents who never failed to pick me up. I was also a member of their youth programs. I started as a Sunbeam at the age of five and gracefully worked my way all the way up to Girl guard . For those who are not familiar with the SA. The youth programs are just like your Brownies and Girl Scouts, but much more Christ centered. I loved these groups.. loved them. As I got older I got even more involved., as can you believe it a Sunday school teacher! It was for the nursery but I don’t care what you say.. those babies can learn and proved it more then once when they seemed to be the only ones who remembered last weeks lesson! I was very out spoken and often challenged and questioned every thing, much to the dismay of some of the older people there. LOL In fact that is how I became a Sunday School teacher.. My teacher got mad at a friend and I because we kept asking questions he had no answer for, so he sent us to the nursery where we belonged! LOL

I digress… I spent my whole youth at this church, watching it grow, die, regrow.. I watched as preachers came and went. Some I was sad to see leave others not so much. I tell you I was a pretty good kid and I have to tell you I am sure it was due to the fact I spent so much time in church that I did not have that much time to get in trouble. I learned or thought I learned a lot about the Bible and all the wonderful stories.. But looking back I can now see I learned only small snippets of it and from a youths point of view if you know what I mean. Once I graduated I left this church.. my grandparents were not happy, but growing up there I also learned a lot about some of these people and I knew I could not abide by how hypocritical they were. I hated the way they judged others based on what they wore to church.. and I was unhappy with the preacher at this time. I could not tolerate being told I should not do something and then watching this same man do the very same thing he was just preaching about. There’s that human factor…

I can tell you it was also at this time I diverted my walk..having that freedom so to speak.. I made all the wrong choices. I entered a local College and enjoyed every bit of it. I was your typical college student.. hung out with friends.. with a little studying tossed in.. After a few years of it I grew tired and decided I was gonna go away to school. I was lead to a nice Baptist college in Nashville, (a place I loved anyway) called Belmont. WOW I had a lot to learn and talk about eye opening. I was in a strange place and knew no one! Not one friend… I have always had a hard time making friends and I was feeling it. I did make friends but slowly and mostly because I forced myself on these poor people. Maybe they felt sorry for me, who knows I never asked. So I was back in the Christ scene! Haa haa I have to say in just a few short years things had changed , or maybe it was me who changed. Either way I was used to the SA way of preaching not the Baptist way.. you could not have dances but you could have foot functions?!?!?!?! What! I was taking all these Bible courses and studying and hanging out with my new friends.. enjoying the whole adventure.. got into some great Christian Artist (whom I still love to this day). Joined a new church, loved it.. best church in the world.. working for the school and just rolling along… then I hit a wall.. Just sort of lost interest in my major.. and my grandmother who was suffering from Alzheimer was getting worse and they were talking about putting her in a home. I decided right then and there I was coming home and help take care of her. That is just what I did.. never regretted one moment of it either. That woman was one of my greatest blessings ever! I spent every day with this women until the day she passed 6 years later. I was blessed to be able to do this because I had/have a wonderful father who took care of me. During this time I was away from my walk.. and to be honest I did not miss it. The years away had taught me a lot, or so I thought. I reverted back to some of my old ways and old friends.

Then 1998 rolled around.. what a life changing year for me. I was so hungry to learn this new thing out there called the internet.. yet I was too poor to own a computer (no job remember.) So I took a course at the local college just to learn how to use the internet. OMGosh! I was hooked. I saved what little money I had coming in from babysitting and bought me a WEBTV. It was from there I met my best friend and husband. (another story another time).

I married this man and have never looked back. We however had very different out looks on religion. He was shutter here a Baptist! LOL We had our ups and downs about it through out the years. I did not want to go to his church and he did not much care for my choice.. so we were at a stand still. I have to be honest with myself.. I pushed God away.. not gone just away.. partly for rebellion because I felt he was being shoved down my throat.. I always thought it was ok because I knew what I knew and believed what I believed so I was ok… NOT! I have and am learning due to family and friends I don’t know jack! Hard pill to swallow… All I thought I knew has been slipping away all these years.. I will say something and my husband will just look at me and I know.. man I messed up again showing me just how far I have fallen.. I am coming back slowly and trying to relearn things I thought I knew.. so cut me some slack every now and then when I get it wrong! LOL Like you guys will let that happen!