Can someone hand me my big girl panties please…

Self doubt or random vent….

 

There are times when I am filled with so much self doubt in who I am.. what I am doing.. and even more important why? Why do I feel this way..

Maybe it is the way the fates have lined up.. maybe it is hormonal… maybe I am feeling guilty about something deep in my mind.. maybe I am just nuts! More then likely it is all of the above.

All I know is that I have these periods of time, normally once every couple of months, where I feel I can do nothing right, everyone hates me and they are all out to get me. It seems at these times everything just seems to fall into place… people just stop talking to me, no one is ever around that wants to talk and in my mind of course they are avoiding me for what ever reason.

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Now I know people have lives and other obligations and were not put here on this earth to be my entertainment. Although they are just that at times.

It seems when these mood spells start I go into my pity party mode and just get grouchy.. and very emotional. Why did it take you 4 hours to answer my e-mail.. or worst yet not answer it at all.. oh the thoughts that go through my mind. What did I do or didn’t do.

I know there are people at work who do not like me, and think I am lazy.. truth is we all are lazy at times, but I don’t start out that way.. Depending one the night and who is there depends on what I am gonna be doing. I never mind helping do trash, clean belts, or zoning.. I don’t.. And there are some nights I do all of the above. I do however HATE sweeping and tend to try and find ways out of it if I can. But on nights when we have more cashiers then needed, I tend to get pulled to do other things.. like freight, covering lunches and breaks.. and even being sent out to help in other departments. I know this makes some people mad. But just because I am not always doing what you are does not mean I do not work. It is all work just different types. But I am working.. You would be shocked at how bent out of shape and rude your coworkers can get. You know they are mad at you when the shut up every time you walk near. I don’t get it.

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I know it is unrealistic to think everyone is gonna want to be friends with me. I am a grown up and I understand that. But it sure does not help settle things in my mind when stuff like this happens.. It also makes me doubt myself.. maybe I am lazy.. maybe I do not do enough at least in their eyes. When I get like this I just want to crawl in a hole and wait for the whole thing to pass.

So if right now anyone thinks I am not doing my part in life, work, home and so forth then maybe you are right. However maybe just maybe you have your own issues and need to stand back and think about the times when you don’t wanna do something for whatever reason and we are there to pick up the slack. Don’t hate on me for doing what is asked of me, even if it is not what you are doing.

One thing I know for sure this too shall pass as it always dose and soon I will be back to being my old self and the old self really does not care what others think..

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I do need to put this out there.. this weekend has been rather hard for me.. as I have just not felt really good and to be honest the last place I wanted to be was work. I did however go to work and tho I did not do most of the normal stuff I do I did work and kept myself busy. I was very moody and not fun to be around and I am sorry for that.. honest.. But rest assured there are gonna be times when you too are not feeling well and if you so choose to come in we will be there to help pull you through and tow the line. I just hope that I am more understanding towards your plight then some of you were to mine…

Ok my pity party is over so I will pull up my big girl panties and move on.. And to those who question the way I jump all over the place.. well it works like my mind! I tend to jump from thing to thing and it works for me… after all the title of this blog is “Ramblings of a mad women” nuff said!

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About drell3

People who know me would say I am nuts! Crazy! Silly! Honest! Loyal! I would say they are right.. but I am so much more... I am a Mother, Wife, Daughter, Friend, Cook, I could fill up this whole page.. I love my life.. I love my husband, I love my child! My family.. you thought i was gonna say my work! LOL NOT!!! I am on a journey... I am coming into my own.. discovering, learning..I am transforming.. one day I will get my butterfly wings.
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16 Responses to Can someone hand me my big girl panties please…

  1. Lyn Leahz says:

    I have missed you! I called and talked to hubby the other week! I think you were sleeping or working! Love you soooooo much!

    • drell3 says:

      I have missed you as well! I hope your book is almost done.. I know how busy you have been! Never forget our my sister and I love ya bunches!

      • Lyn Leahz says:

        I got the book cover today and the inside. I approved the book cover but they have to make one correction…and I’m reviewing the inside of it. You want me to email you the book cover? They did an awesome job! They feel the book is one that might go far…could even possibly be movie material..so they want me to get one of their publicists.

      • drell3 says:

        wow! congrats and you know I would love to see the cover! I know you must be sooo excited!! And I am excited for you!!!!!! HUGS HUGS HUGS

      • Lyn Leahz says:

        Yes I am! I just emailed it to you! And guess what? Walid Shoebat, Joel Richardson (both best selling international authors and speakers) and the CEO of ORU all endorsed me! Can you believe that? I am excited!

      • drell3 says:

        yes I can believe that! you are awesome! I am very proud of you.. you have an amazing God given talent..

      • Lyn Leahz says:

        I love you, drell! Thank you so much! You are so sweet! Tell hubby to take a break from school! You and him are coming this way to stay for a while! I don’t care if he likes to read the paper on the toilet or not..we’ll just kick him off when we need to use it like you and I previously discussed LOL!!!!

  2. nancy says:

    Were you running around without panties on? No wonder you were in a bad mood – next time ask hubby to do your laundry LOL… Love you girl! And remember without panties – people see your butt not just the crack…LOL. Hugging you!

  3. Arlene says:

    You’re entitled to go there…just don’t stay there:) That “there” is where you don’t wanna be! Instead, stay in that “there” where you don’t care what “they” think. They’re usually wrong anyway! There!!!! How’s that for some rambling? Muah!!!

  4. Wayne Augden says:

    Not talking about big girl panties …. 🙂 but I’ve experienced the feelings you’re talking about. Everyone needs a place to go to vent, and someone to vent to so ramble on you mad woman… I’ll read your funny or rambling posts come as they will.

    • Lyn Leahz says:

      Well well well..what do we have here? Mr. Augden. The WordPress mystery man. And where have you been? Hmmmmmmm??? Probably hiding out in the BIG girl panty drawer?

  5. coastalmom says:

    Hey Buddy!
    I came in here to read this again and realize how much I have missed you! I always smile when I see your little Kermit hop onto my blog. I am sure that the ones who appreciate you have a friend for life! Wish “WE” worked together! We would have such a blast! I don’t doubt it for one minute!

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